Dark Souls, with a twist
by Soulwars1998
Summary: When ending up in the world of Lothric one is expected to carry the burden and the advantages of an Ashen One... except this time things are a tad more realistic for the liking of two poor souls. A Dark Souls III Self Insert! But with a twist...
1. Chapter 1

It has been stated by many that great power comes with great responsibility. Over the countless ages many powerful beings rose to power and created powerful kingdoms. Many of those said beings were considered to be gods, though. What most do not know is that they all lacked that 'human touch'. Humanity, considered to be the greatest threat to the gods because of their darkness. Over the countless ages many humans became powerful and created kingdoms for themselves. But they did not need magic or any god-like power to have their deepest desired granted. They just needed a good tongue which they could use to hypnotize those who listened to their every word. Armies were created, wars were fought and people lost their lives. But now the world ushers in an age of not light nor darkness. But in an age of neutrality. There is conflict, there is suffering, but there is also peace and happiness. Something you would have trouble finding in kingdoms of yore.

When awakening from a good afternoon rest one is expecting to be greeted by his or her ceiling. Not with a sky filled with clouds. Who turned on the lights? Two beings arose from their slumber and stood up, stretching their backs and yawning simultaneously.

"So who tricked us this time?" One of the two asked.

"No idea." The other replied. "Do you remember what happened? I mean after we had that run-in with that crazy old lady from across the street?"

"Jimmy I have no idea." The other replied to his friend. He ran a hand through his thick blonde hair and let out a sigh before turning around and trying to find out where they had arrived. Or even better; _how_ they arrived here. "Although I must admit the view is nice, though." He said, taking on the beautiful landscape they were standing in. Mountains as far as the eyes could see, a blue sky with specks of orange—courtesy of the sun. And of course a humongous castle that stood upon what seemed to be a lonely mountain.

Wait, a castle?

"H-hey, do you recall a castle standing a few hundred meters away from your backyard, Connor?" Jimmy asked, cutting off Connor before he could comment on it. "I mean it looks very nice but alas kind of creepy. Kind of has that Castlevenia vibe to it if you know what I mean." He shuddered and looked at Connor, who seemed to be in a state of either awe or shock.

Connor swallowed a lump of salvia that had formed in his mouth and licked his dry lips before turning to Jimmy. "I... Do you see what I am seeing right now?" He asked, sweat starting to drip down his neck as he felt a sudden wave of realization hit him. And boy did it hit him hard. "That castle looks... familiar. It looks very, very familiar. Isn't that... isn't that Lothric Castle?"

Jimmy could only nod, gulping while doing so. He spoke up, trying to come up with a logical explenation for all of this but found out he couldn't even speak coherent words right now. He stumbled backwards and fell on his rear, an audible 'oof' escaping his lips when he made contact with the ground. He shook his head and breathed out slowly. "This is defies all logic. This cannot be real." He said, tracing his fingers over the ground. "But it all feels so very real. Connor are we... are we in Lothric?"

"No." Connor muttered grimly. "We're in the Cemetry of ash. Or at least the 'beginning' version of it. Looks to me like this is the beginning of Dark Souls III. And we're stuck in the middle of it." He said, looking down at his feet. "Without any form of armor or protection. Just our casual jeans and t-shirts." He said, looking behind him. "This is the place your character rises from when you start a new game. And we both know what lies ahead, right?" He gulped.

"Hollows, dogs, more hollows and then... Judgement." Jimmy replied, standing up. "I say we dash through and don't give two fucks. Who knows maybe we can actually open the door that leads to Firelink Shrine without having to fight Gundyr." He said, laughing nervously. "Wouldn't that be fun?"

Connor inhaled a deep beath before turning his attention to the road in front of him. "Okay, on my mark we run like we're being chased by Yhorm himself and we keep running. No heroics. Just-."

"Hold down the circle button like your life depends on it!" Jimmy shouted as he started sprinting towards the entrance of the cemetery of ash. Connor rubbed his temples but sprinted after him nonetheless... only to be greeted by Jimmy being chased by two angry hollows with broken straight swords. He watched as Jimmy led them to a nearby broken wall an took a swift turn to his right, making the two hollows crash into the wall and tumbling backwards. Too bad hollows didn't seem to get knocked out that easy, because they were already starting to get up. Connor ran passed them, but not before taking one of the broken straight swords out of the hands of one of the hollows. He caught up with Jimmy, who seemed to be focused on the area ahead of them. Connor couldn't blame him. They were stuck in a game where death was their future! They had reached the upper area of the Cemetery of Ash, where they saw the arena where Gundyr awaited his next challenger. His next victim would be a better term, since the two of them had literally no combat experience.

"Looks like we made it." Jimmy breathed out, hunched over with his head resting between his legs. "I can't believe we ran through that." He breathed out.

"I can't believe we didn't take the Ashen Flask." Connor replied, looking down at the straight sword he held in his hand—or what was left of it anyways. Should he go back and get it? He didn't see anything on his way. Maybe he was too distracted? Or had someone already picked it up? He shook the thought out of his head when he heard Jimmy tell him something of utmost importance.

"Look, it's a bonfire." Jimmy said in slight awe. He walked towards the bonfire and placed his hand on the coiled sword that was imbedded in the pile of human bones. And to their surprises it lit up. Bonfire lit as the game would tell them. But this time there was no such text, just the warmth of the bonfire. Jimmy decided to sit down and see if it would do anything other than producing heat. To his disappointment nothing had happened. "Looks like this is the end of the line. We can't defeat Gundyr. There is simply no way." Jimmy sighed as he stood up. He rose up and noticed the broken straight sword in Connor's hand. "What are you going to do with that? Ae you going to try and defeat Gundyr with a puny weapon like that?"

"We could just try and run for the door, perhaps climb over it." Connor suggested.

"We are going to die anyways, so migth as well go out with a bang." Jimmy shrugged, walking down the path that would lead them to Gundyr. He noticed a hollow with a longsword walking towards him. He shook his head as the hollow slashed at him and he easily stepped aside and dodged. He grabbed the sword by its hilt and took it out of the hollow's grasp. He pushed the hollow away from him and watched as it stumbled backwards and off the mountain. He looked at Connor and threw him the longsword. "Take it. You are a fencer if only by hobby. You know how to fight with a sword."

"Against opponents who use swords as well, yes." Connor muttered softly. "But Gundyr uses a humongous halberd. How the hell am I going ti protect myself against that?" He asked, his eyes full of doubt. "What will you be doing during the fight?" He asked.

"I will be trying to get a certain door to open. After I get it open w go in and close it. Simple as that." Jimmy replied, crossing his arms. "Although the door normally opens when you kill Gundyr. But seeing as we cannot use bonfires to get Estus or anything we just have to make do with what we have at our disposal." He looked at the arena that held their challenge and sighed. "Let's make a run for it, shall we?" He asked.

"Let's do it, then." Connor said. They both shook hands and looked at each other with determination. They stood there, gazing intensely at one another...

"You know one of us is going to have to take the first step. You are the oldest, so you go." Jimmy said, patting Connor's back and pushing him forward. "Now run you beautiful bastard! Run!"

And Connor did just that. He ran and ran, not caring about the hollows he had aggrod and where following him right now. Jimmy was right behind him, since he could hear him curse and shout various insults at the hollows who tried to slash at him. He had reached the entrance to the arena and entered it as quickly as possible, Jimmy following his lead. They panted and breathed heavily, trying to get their adrenaline surges under control. Connor looked into the arena and saw Gundyr, the man himself knelt down with the Coiled Sword imbedded in his chest. He wondered if he was supposed to pull it out...

"Connor let's get to that door." Jimmy said, getting Connor's attention.

"Right. Let's keep our distance with this guy. We don't know what kind of tricks he's got up his sleeves. If he even has those to begin with." Connor replied.

The two of them too simultaneous paces towards Gundyr. They eyes the suit of armor intensely, expecting it to come alive at any moment. Luckily for them it seemed that Gundyr was indeed stuck in position. He did not move an inch when they had passed him. The two teenagers quickly ran towards the door and started to push. The door did not budge, and so they pushed again. And again. And again...

"Open you fucking door! Open the fuck up!" Jimmy shouted, angrily pushing the door over and over again. "Open right now!"

Connor let out a sigh and stopped pushing. This was getting them nowhere. There had to be another way passed this door. He looked around, trying to find for anther exit in the arena. He looked up at the sky and inhaled a deep breath of air before opening his eyes and looked at the humongous grave that was inside the arena. The vines of trees covered most of it, but it still looked menacing. Whatever was in there must have been huge.

It was at this moment realization hit him. The vines! They could climb them and walk around and climb the door! They could drop down and land safely behind it! Oh this was a great plan! Connor tapped Jimmy's shoulder to get his attention and spoke up. "Listen, see those vines. If you give me a push I can climb them. I can pull you up and we can make our way over the door. That way we will be safe from Gundyr should something happen to that sword."

Jimmy stared at him and then eyed the vines curiously. Surely this idea should not work. Dark Souls physics wouldn't allow it. Well, speaking of Dark Souls physics... they didn't give them any Estus either nor armor. So physics can go to hell right now! Jimmy nodded and they ran towards the vines. Jimmy motioned for Connor to jump into the palms of his hands so he could throw him up. Connor took a sprint and jumped successfully into Jimmy's palms and made his way into the vines. He looked down at Jimmy and held out his hand, which Jimmy gladly accepted. Grabbing hold of his friend's hand, Jimmy was pulled up in a few seconds of trying.

"I cannot believe we pulled that off." Jimmy breathed out as he watched Connor walk towards the top side of the door. "Hey, wait up!" He said, walking after him.

It took them almost no time to get there, and once they had reached the top side of the humongous green doors they started their decent. Careful with their footing and holding on to the deep engravings of the door provided them with enough support to sucesfully make their way down to the other side of the Cemetry of Ash. They looked at each other and smiled widely.

"We fukcing did it!" They shouted in union.

Connor fist pumped the air, smiling widely. "Take that Dark Souls! We beat you in your own game!"

Jimmy chuckled and patted Connor's shoulder. "I guess we should make our way over to the Firelink Shrine." He said, starting to walk towards said area. He stopped, however, when he heard Connor call out to him.

"Hey, I'm the one holding the sword. I should take point." He said, walking passed Jimmy. "Time to see how much damage I can do to these hollows." He smirked, holding his sword in both hands. "And I see my first test subjects right there."

The subjects, being two hollows that were holding their heads in suffering and not paying any attention to the teenager walking towards them, were swiftly cut down by Connor with two strikes to the head. Connor gulped a bit when he saw actual blood oozing out of their wounds. Did he really just do that? Did he really just kill two humans?

No, these things were hollow and they would have killed him had he not killed them first. Survival of the fittest. Connor looked at his sword and smiled a bit. His smile faded when two other hollows, one holding a crossbow and the other a broken shield and a spear, walked towards him. Connor hid behind a rock, evading a crossbow shot and waited until the hollow wielding the spear as distracted by Jimmy, who was flailing his arms around. When the hollow walked passed him, Connor struck it in its abdomen and it fell to the ground, dead. Looks like these things wnet down easier than in the game. And were it not for them not being limited by character physics they would have never made it out of the arena. Did this mean they had cheated? No, they just do wat was necessary, right? Anyone would have done the same in their situation. Gundyr was not human, he was a beast that would have surely killed them. They would not have survied an attack from him, let alone an attack from a mere hollow. Sowrds still hurt, even if they were broken. The crossbow wielding hollow, seeing the demise of his comrade tried to move back, but was stopped by Connor's sword imbedding itself into its chest. The hollow flailed around for a bit before its body went limb.

"Looks like we got ourselves some new weapons." Connor said, handing Jimmy the spear. "If this were the same as in Dark Souls the game, we would be in a whole lot of trouble."

"Looks like there are some... changes to our 'game', huh?" Jimy suggested, shrugging when him and Connor reahced the entrance to Firelink Shrine.

This was it. Inside they would meet character such as Andre and the Firekeeper. The old handmaiden and even Hawkwood the Deserter. They looked at each other and entered, greeted by the sight of their familiar hub. They walked down the set of stairs and to the center part of the shrine, where the Firekeeper stood, waiting her next Ashen One. She seemed to have notice them enter, for she started walking towards the center as well. When both had reached their destination, she was the first to speak up.

"Welcome to the bonfire, ashen one. I am a Firekeeper, here to-."

"My god you are even more beautiful from up close." Connor satted, cutting her off. "We know who you are, and what your duties are. And we appreciate the work you pt out but we really need to get home because our parents—no, Jimmy's parents are going to kill him."

The firekeeper stared at the Ashen One in front of her, even though she could not see her since she had no eyes. It was forbidden, after all. She tilted her head slightly and replied. "Ashen One, or should I say Ashen _Ones_ , I do not know what thou speakest of, but I can assure thee I knowest not of ny parents getting agitated."

Connor smacked his forehead. "Lady just point us where to go next."

"Embed the coiled sword and head to Lothric castle. The four Lords must sit on their thrones. That is thine duty, after all." she replied.

Connor and Jimmy looked at each other sheepishly, rubbing the back of their necks.

"We didn't get the Coiled Sword. We kind of climbed our way out of the arena so we wouldn't have to fight Gundyr." Jimmy admitted. "Uh... you probably don't have any more of them Coiled Sword lying around here, do you?"

The firekeeper could only stare in complete shock before lowering her head. "So thou art not the ash I seeketh." She said. "The only way to proceed is to get the Coiled Sword. It is thine only object of use in this time."

Well, looks like Gundyr was going to smack them into oblivion anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

The Firekeeper, in her short time of being one, had not expected to be serving two Ashes. However, she had a duty to fulfill, to serve the Ash who would bring the Lords back to their thrones and grant death to those who delivered the First Flame. When the Ash she had longed for; for such a long time finally entered the shrine she had not expected it—no, them to be so... odd. She listened to the conversation the two of them were having Although she did not understand every word leaving their respective mouths, she could put together what they were talking about.

The first Ash, whose name was presumably Connor was talking about 'bosses' and weapons they should be collecting, while the other Ash, who's name had to be Jimmy, was franticly trying to tell Connor to listen to what he had to say. Their conversation intrigued her. Sometimes it got extremely lonely in the shrine. Not many words were spoken between the people residing here. So, she, the Firekeeper sat down on the stone stairs and continued to listen to her Ashen Ones.

"I'm telling you this is a bad idea." Connor said, rubbing his temples as he stared at the bonfire—well, if they had obtained the Coiled Sword it would have been an actual bonfire. "Climbing down to reach the underside of the Cemetery of Ash and walking through the mountains to reach Lothric? That idea has to be one of your worst yet, buddy."

Jimmy shook his head, shrugging. "Hey, it was worth a try. I mean if we're really out of options we could always just fight Gundyr." He laughed.

"And die seconds later. I honestly think we're not even strong enough to pull out the sword from his chest. I mean look at us," Connor said, pointing his thumb at his chest. "The only experience I have with swords is that I fence. But remember that fencing is a sport. There are rules you have to follow. But guess what? There are no rules in Dark Souls." Connor finished, crossing his arms.

"Don't drink Estus during a duel." Jimmy replied. "That's like the number one rule of PvP. Estus is for bosses and enemies, not for real players. If you drink Estus during a duel you are the worst scum out there in my opinion." He added, glaring at Connor. "Right, Mr. I swear it was a miss click."

Connor let out a laugh, patting Jimmy's shoulder. He looked around the shrine and noticed a man sitting on a set of stairs, his head down and his gaze fixed on the floor. Connor suddenly started smiling and started walking towards said man, confusing Jimmy.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow at Connor's action and decided to follow his friend. The man might be a downer, but he turns into a real asshole in late-game.

"Hello there, Hawkwood." Connor said, looking down at the man.

Hawkwood looked up to see two teenage boys staring down at him, both with expression of curiosity. This confused him a bit, but he didn't really care too much. "Ah, another one roused from the sleep of death. Well you're not alone. We Unkindled are worthless, can't even die right. Heh, gives me conniptions."

Jimmy snorted, while Connor started giggling.

"He said the line." Connor said, nudging Jimmy. "It gives me conniptions. This man is a legend." He looked at Hawkwood, who had his gaze back to the floor again as he always had. Connor cleared his throat loudly, getting Hawkwood's attention once more. "Greetings! I am Connor," he said, holding out his hand. "The guy behind me is my best friend, Jimmy. We have traveled far and wide and arrived here without even knowing we arrived here."

Hawkwood stared at the young man in front of his with raised eyebrows. "I beg your pardon, but is there not a reason you're here? I mean both of you are Unkindled, you know why you're here. Return the Lords of Cinder back to their thrones. And they'd have us seek them and return them to their molding thrones. But we're talking true legends, with-.

"Yeah, yeah, we're not even fit to lick their boots." Connor replied.

Hawkwood grunted before shaking his head. "Whatever might two youngsters such as yourself be doing in a place like this? You two wouldn't even fit for a squire. That is if you're even fit to be anything at all. Pheh, enjoy your stay in this godforsaken place." He chuckled lightly to himself, shifting his gaze back to the floor. "I know I will."

Connor was about to reply, but was stopped when Jimmy cut him off by speaking for both of them.

"And what of the dragons?" Jimmy asked. Hawkwood did not seem interested. "Are you not a true dragon? Do you not wish to become one? We both know what you're really after, and after one of us obtains it you will move away from this place to find true meaning, right? Well what if I told you I know exactly where you need to go?" He said.

"Then I'd call you a fool. No one has been able to find a way to become a true dragon. Both of you should know that the art was lost long, long ago. I have given up my search, and I will not continue. I already deserted one legion, and I will not go on some kind of never ending quest to find treasure that has long been lost." He replied. "I am impressed by your knowledge, young man. However, heed the advice of this warrior. Seek not fire, seek not lords. Everything you do will ultimately lead to your downfall. You will die over and over again without even knowing why."

"Like you let your brothers die while you fled?" Connor retorted, crossing his arms. "I've waited for this moment for a long time. Ever since I laid eyes on you I knew something was off. And now I know exactly what that is. You're a coward, not a deserter. Deserters might have actually fought or made themselves useful. But I'm guessing you didn't even see a glimpse of action, did you?" He asked. Connor's confidence and strong choice of words seemed to have no effect on Hawkwood at all, as he simply remained seated.

"I guess we should go outside and explore a bit more. See what we can find." Jimmy suggested.

Connor nodded and followed his friend, while Hawkwood remained seated, contemplating the words that had just been spoken to him. A coward? Him? He was no coward. Cowards did not enter the Abyss Watchers. The Legion of Farron only wanted the strongest and toughest opponents they could find! And he was granted passage into their ranks. He was no coward. Not at all. He was a true warrior. He might have deserted, have left his brothers for dead. But they were dead to begin with, when they decided to guard that tomb... the tomb leading to the High Lord. He simply valued his life above all else. Was that really so bad? It's only human to care for one another, but caring only for yourself requires a certain set of skills and a good mouth.

Speaking of mouths, those two boys seemed to know a lot more than they showed him. Perhaps they could lead him to certain treasures that were long lost... waiting to be found again.

Standing in front of the in-human sized door that lead to judgement, Connor and Jimmy contemplated on their next course of actions. There was no denying that what awaited them behind this door was a challenge no normal human could possibly hope to defeat. Iudex Gundyr might be the tutorial boss and considered to be one of the easier bosses in Dark Souls III, but when one is in the safety of their own room, their only worries being the well-being of their controller and their souls, things are usually considered to be easy. But these two boys had to face a warrior who had probably killed dozens of people before. His halberd was not their only worry, though. Gundyr's second phase... now that is a scary thing.

"How are we supposed to do this? I mean those hollows were, well, hollows. But we're talking about an actual boss!" Jimmy said, sweat dripping down his neck as he recalled his first time playing through Dark Souls III and coming face to face with the Judge of Battle. "We have two weapons, a spear and a sword. I don't even know how to use this thing!" He exclaimed, dropping the spear to the ground.

"I don't know what we're supposed to do, man." Connor replied, equally as conflicted as Jimmy was. "Those hollows were not the toughest people to face, but this is... this is something that is on a whole new level of dangerous!" He looked down at the longsword he held in his hand. Gripping the hilt tightly, Connor let out a sigh before turning around. "Let's face it... we can't do anything on our own. We're not getting cocky. Let's head back and see if anyone else wants to help out."

"Don't even bother trying to ask anyone for help in that place." Came a voice from behind the two.

Connor and Jimmy turned around to see Hawkwood the Deserter standing behind them, his claymore behind his back and his shield in his left hand. "I don't know what it is about the two of you, but you seem to know a lot. I found your... speech intriguing. But the stories of dragons even more so. Tell me, if I were to aid you in your quest can you assure me we shall find the path to dragons? The path to those who even death could not touch?"

Connor and Jimmy exchanged glances of worry.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Connor asked, before being silenced by a jab in the side from Jimmy.

"What he meant to say is: Welcome aboard!" Jimmy exclaimed, placing a hand on Hawkwood's shoulder. "Now there is a big fight coming up and we're going to need your skills to make this work. While I have no combat experience whatsoever I compensate that by using my head. I'm a strategic thinker, and seeing how this world has been treating us so far, I say we treat it like it treats us. Time to fight fire with fire."

"What are you getting at?" Connor asked.

"It's time for gravity to kick in."


End file.
